Tag: covidmentalhealth

The Future of O.C.D.

Everytime that I hear someone say, “I am SO ready for 2020 to be over”, I quickly reply with, “Well you don’t know what 2021 has in store for us yet!” And while our future is uncertain in regards to what victories and challenges we will face in the new year, we can be certain of a few things.

Today Is The Most Important Day
As special and memorable as the past is, and as exciting and hopeful as the future is, today deserves the most of our attention out of the three. We can’t change or live in the past, and we can’t control or predict the future. But with today, we can utilize what we’ve learned from the past, and form patterns and habits that set us up for a healthy future.

There Will Be Challenges
As long as their is blood pumping through our veins, and air circulating through our lungs, we are at war with the flesh. Whether sickness, death, temptation, disappointment, or trials, we are certain to endure hardship throughout 2021. Knowing this certainty, I find it of utmost importance to spend the remainder of 2020 preparing the mind and spirit for another year of endurance. Just as a military leader prepares their troops for the battle ahead, God gives us resources through His word, prayer, and community that help us prepare for the battle field ahead of us.

Good Can Come From Any Situation
If you’re like me, then you instantly thought of a few situations that surely are incapable of producing anything good. Examples that crossed my mind: A sudden and tragic loss of a child. Watching a loved one suffer and die from cancer. Suffering through a brutal war that leaves one left with PTSD. I could keep going. And though all of these situations are tragic and deserve appropriate grief, I truly do still believe that good can come from any situation. The key is to look for the good in the not so good experiences of life. Not every situation will feel good. But every situation can produce good, even if the good is simply experiencing growth, deepening of community, or an important lesson that is learned.

Let me switch gears for just a moment by saying this,

I DON’T KNOW WHAT 2021 HOLDS FOR MY O.C.D.. BUT I CAN BE CERTAIN OF A FEW THINGS:

Today Is The Most Important Day
I can’t beat myself up over the past struggles of my O.C.D., just as I can’t sit in worry about what a future of living with O.C.D. looks like. What I can do, however, is tap into the strength, self-control, community, and resources that God supplies for me this very day…while trusting that tomorrow will provide a new stream of resources and strength. He always manages to provide just what I need for today. And that’s why I can praise Him for my past victories, learn from past mistakes, and have Faith as I walk into the unknowns of the future.

There Will Be Challenges
The only certainty of 2021, is knowing that I will still have O.C.D.. There will still be challenges and struggles. How I choose to utilize my time right now can greatly determine what shape I will be in mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually during those inevitable struggles. I choose to be thankful for the certainty of hardship because at least I can prepare for it now.

Good Can Come From Any Situation
It has taken me several decades to find “the good” in living with a mental disorder like O.C.D. and irrational phobias that consume my mind and day to day life. But like I explained earlier, just because a situation or experience like O.C.D. doesn’t feel good, that doesn’t mean that the experience cannot produce good. Living with and through O.C.D. has given me far more compassion and empathy for others who have disabilities and disorders. Suffering through O.C.D. has created a deeper hope and longing for heaven in me. Fighting through so many years of isolated misery from O.C.D. has taught me the importance and definition of community. 

"Therefore, stop worrying about tomorrow, 
because tomorrow will worry about itself. 
Each day has enough trouble of its own."
Matthew 6:34

Instead of worrying about the uncertainties of a future filled with O.C.D., I choose to embrace what IS certain. Today is the most important day. That’s certain. I will face challenges in the future. That is certain. Good truly can come from any challenge I endure. That is certain.

What certainties will you choose to meditate on in preparation for a new year?

OCD And 2020

2020 has definitely proven to be a year full of unsettling events. A global pandemic, political unrest, racial divide, and violent riots. Where have you found yourself mentally throughout this year?

Despite the vast challenges of the year, 2020 has also proven to be one of the deepest soul searching years. At least for me! With far more time to myself amidst quarantine and shutdowns, I, like so many others, have been forced into God’s will of being still, and knowing who He is in my life.

This unexpected season of isolation has forced me to address questions and thoughts that for so long I was too busy, or too distracted, to address. Questions like: What are my callings? What are my passions? What are my talents? What is my vision? What hurdles do I still need to leap over? What path am I walking down, and where is it headed? What am I actually doing to positively impact my community? Thoughts like: I don’t have value. I am so far behind everyone else in life. I just don’t compare.

As we wrap up this unique year, I knew that I needed to face these questions and thoughts head on. So, last month I packed up and headed to Arizona and Utah for a 4 day get away into the beautiful mountains and canyons of the mid West. I spent 4 days surrounded by beautiful nature, soaking in (mostly) quiet moments. Nature has always managed to be a safe place for me to address my racing mind. And, because I believe the reminders and messages imprinted on my heart in that time truly do matter, I want to share my takeaways with you!

Mental Health Matters
We can only run away from our thoughts and mental distress for so long until it all catches up to us. This season of quarantine and stillness reminded me that it is so important to be in tune with my mental health. Why run from the obsessive thoughts, questions, insecurities, fears, or doubts when running only leads to more distress down the road? I am hopeful that the future me will look back at 2020 and say, “That was the year that I finally took control of my mental health and began actively putting mental health as a top priority in my life.”

There is Always Hope
I wonder if I am the only one who has taken comfort in the fact that literally the entire world is experiencing this pandemic together. I can’t remember a point in my life time where literally the entire world was shut down, and sharing one common experience that united us all. Despite the death, the pain, the uncertainty, the fear, this commonality has brought me great hope. But not just pandemic hope. This season has taught me that even in the absolute lowest and darkest of valleys, if we keep our eyes open we will see and experience something that will help shape us into better people. This is true for OCD as well. Good things can come from OCD and other hardships. We just have to open ourselves up to seeing that goodness, to feeling that hope.

We Are Not Alone
My heart breaks as I hear the rising statistics of suicide rights during this pandemic. I personally have heard of 3 suicides just in my social circle. And though I cannot speak for the deceased, I do sense a commonality of loneliness and isolation at the basis of these situations. But what I find interesting, is that even in their death, they were apart of a larger suicide community. What that has taught me, is that whatever we are struggling with, chances are that others around the world have experienced, are experiencing, or will experience similar struggles. But how will we know if we are unwilling to share our struggles openly? Which leads me to my last takeaway.

Awareness is Everything
Whether it is us as individuals being aware of our own struggles and needs, or being aware of the needs of others around us, we are our healthiest as a people when we are aware. Awareness does not just happen by itself. It only follows vulnerable openness. When we open up about our struggles and needs, not only do we become aware of resources to help or other people experiencing similar struggles and needs…but others become aware of our struggles and needs as well. Awareness has become my greatest mission through this blog and other platforms. I believe awareness holds the power to bring true healing, true unity, and true growth.

What has 2020 taught you? I can only hope all that we have learned and taken away from this year will lead us into a much healthier environment for 2021, despite any challenges that continue or arise.