Author: goodvibetraveler

Have you ever experienced that lovey dovey couple who just can’t seem to hang up the phone with each other after a 16 hour long conversation? “No YOU say good-bye”…”No YOU say good-bye first…”  I mean I just want to jump in and hang the phone up for them, for Pete’s sake! (Who is Pete, anyway?). 

That is precisely the effect that O.C.D. has on a person’s brain, just in a far less romantic and mushy way. We just can’t seem to stop, even when we know it’s time to say good-bye to our obsessive, compulsive, disordered thoughts and behaviors. 

Due to the glitch in our brain’s ability to properly transfer signals and chemicals (see my post titled “Defining O.C.D.”), which causes obsessive thoughts and/or compulsive behaviors, we quite literally cannot stop. Or at least not by sheer will power. It takes an outside source (distraction, redirection, medication, cognitive and /or behavioral therapy, etc) for us to be able to “hang up” on those unwanted, intrusive thoughts and behaviors.  

Imagine living with this glitch, this disordered mind, when applied to the following areas: Finances and spending, cleaning, counting, re-checking, communicating, eating or dieting, studying or working, dealing with trauma or death, having relationships, sexual experiences or fears, etc. The list could literally go on and on. You can quickly see how debilitating this would be for a person. 

In this post, I want to highlight 5 areas of life that can be severely affected directly, or indirectly, by O.C.D..

Mental Health
We already know that O.C.D. is a mental disorder, so that is not what I am referring to here. What I mean, is that due to living with this glitched brain, so many who struggle with O.C.D., as a side effect, also struggle deeply with anxiety and /or depression. According to a Swedish study done at the Karolinska Institute in 2016 , those who live with O.C.D. are 10 times more likely to commit suicide. TEN TIMES! Living with intrusive, disturbing, terrifying, or morbid obsessive thoughts, followed by compulsive behaviors, that you did not ask for, do not enjoy, and cannot “turn off”, is beyond exhausting mentally. Every single day feels like a mental marathon, cycling in pure exhaustion.

Emotional Health
What differentiates a person living with O.C.D. and someone who is merely a perfectionist, or very particular about things, is that the person with O.C.D. does not find relief, enjoyment, or pleasure in the obsessions. They take no joy in the obsessive scrubbing, re-checking, re-organizing, re-visualizing or fill in the blank. In fact, these thoughts and behaviors bring about great distress and dread. Inevitably, this can lead to emotional distress such as being easily frustrated, scared, worried, overwhelmed, anxious, sad, depressed, overly eager, and just about any other emotion you can think of. O.C.D. has a way of causing its victim to feel helpless, full of guilt and embarrassment, like a burden, and totally isolated. As we will later discuss, a person will experience true emotional health and balance when they learn to call out their O.C.D. for what it is, and learn to re-channel that obsessive and compulsive energy into productive outlets. 

Physical Health
The physical side effects of O.C.D. depend on what compulsive behaviors a person deals with. Most experience altered sleep patterns (Causing mood swings, sickness, loss of ability to focus when awake), loss of or excessive appetites (causing weight loss or gain), anxiety or depression (causing digestive issues, change in energy), skin alterations (causing open sores from scrubbing or picking). The list could go on forever. What I’d like to point out, is that if you know someone with O.C.D., and you notice these outward effects happening to their body or energy levels, please don’t be afraid to check in and ask them, “Hey, I noticed that you have really cracked skin right now, are you struggling again with scrubbing or washing your hands?” Or , “Hey, I noticed that you haven’t had much energy or drive to do the things you normally love doing, is everything with your O.C.D. ok right now?” The outward effects of O.C.D. are usually last to surface. So, if you notice these outward signs, chances are the person is walking through a really difficult season of not being able to control the mental/emotional aspect of O.C.D.. 

Social Health
As you can imagine, living with O.C.D. , at times, can make socializing difficult. And it can especially present relationships and/or friendships with challenges. When a person with O.C.D. is overwhelmed with irrational fears, morbid and intrusive thoughts, especially that lead to embarrassing or unwanted compulsions, it can often lead the person to push away friends, family, romantic relationships, and community. “They just won’t understand”. “What will they think of me if they knew?”. “Will they even like me anymore because of this struggle?” But what I have found to be true, is that true friendship, true love, true community, will build you up in your weakness, not tear you down. True friendship, love, and community will walk beside you, hold your hand, ask those needed questions, listen with true interest, and help you see yourself as so much more than just living with O.C.D.. Don’t let your O.C.D. isolate you from those who love you and want to help. Isolate your O.C.D. by giving it a limited space, with limited control. 

Spiritual Health
If I could sum up how O.C.D. effects the over all demeanor of a person using one descriptive word, I would probably choose either “hopeless”, or “defeated”. So often we try everything we know to do–prayer, re-direction, medication, therapy, etc–and yet still, we have this disordered brain. So often this feeling of just failing, carries over into our spiritual walk. Some may experience anger at God, due to being born with a mental disorder that so often seems to bring more torture than relief, despite continual effort and prayer. Some may feel too guilty for having such thoughts and behaviors associated with O.C.D., that lead to feeling too unworthy or embarrassed to approach God or their Christian community for help. We must realize that God’s original design of the brain, before the fall, was perfect and flawless. We live in a broken world, full of sickness, disease, disorders, and illnesses. We may never experience full healing of this brokenness in this life, but we can be assured that in eternity, we will be 100% healed of every illness, including mental illness. We can also rest assured that just as God promises in 2 Corinthians 12:9, His grace is sufficient for us, and He will use our weaknesses in powerful ways. He knows our struggles. He knows our intentions. He knows how badly we are striving to live with a healthy mind, despite having a disordered one. We have to trust that He will sustain us, and have mercy on us.

As always, my hope is that this information helps at least one person who either lives with O.C.D. , or loves someone who does. If you find this at all helpful, please subscribe, and share this awareness site. Stay tuned for my next blog, which will discuss healthy treatment options for O.C.D.

After only one measly week of nursing school, my phone would light up with pictures from friends of wounds, rashes, bruises, and other conditions, asking for my “diagnosis” and treatment recommendation. “Do I need to go to the E.R. ?” “Do I need stitches?” “Is this a spider bite?” “Should I take medicine, and what kind?”. The list goes on.

I remember reaching a point about one month in, where I finally began googling random, obnoxiously long medical terms, and responding with “Oh no! You have ‘xyz’! That can be fatal!” I know, I know…so terrible of me. But I did get a few laughs out of it, especially when the other person totally bought into my prank. (Before you consider me the worst human ever, note that I immediately told the person I was kidding, and that they should see a doctor!).

When it comes to achieving a proper diagnosis, especially involving a mental disorder, it’s important to understand that there are safe ways, and less safe ways, to pursue a diagnosis. I mean, think about if one of those poor victims of my prank would have begun treating themselves according to whatever false diagnosis I provided them with? Catastrophic!

Take me for example. I was told through out school that I simply had a “learning disorder”, or that I was a “perfectionist”, or “too picky”, or “just depressed”, or “too anxious”. I was placed on medication for anxiety and depression that actually worsened my O.C.D. symptoms to the point of almost taking my own life to escape what felt like torture. It wasn’t until my 20s that I was told “That sounds like O.C.D.”, and not until my 30s that I was properly diagnosed and treated for this disorder in an effective, safe, and healthy way.

Had I known what I know now, I would not have lived so many years without a proper diagnosis or treatment plan. Which is exactly why today’s post is so important for me to share with you. So, I hope you’ll take my advise to heart, knowing it comes from many years of wishing someone would have told me these things!

1-Pray
I realize that not everyone is religious, or a believer in God. So this step may seem silly to you. However, for me, it has proven to be the most effective tool in pursuing clarity on what happens inside of my mind, and during certain compulsions. Before I sought out professional help in 2019, I dropped to my knees and begged God to guide me to the people who could not only properly help me, but also who I would feel safe with. Not only did God answer that prayer, but He did so better than I could have ever imagined. All I had to do was ask in faith, and God quickly proved to be very present and very invested in the process. After all, if we don’t ask, is it really fair to expect Him to deliver? Matthew 7:7

2-Know What is “Normal”
I use the term “normal” very hesitantly, because I don’t want to imply that having O.C.D. makes a person “not normal”. What I actually mean, is that we were not created to live in a mental, emotional, or physical state that leads to self destruction or destruction of those around us. If you are experiencing thoughts or behaviors that are interfering with your ability to eat, sleep, socialize, cope, function healthily, successfully go through school, work, etc, you need help. Please know that it is ok to acknowledge you need help.

3-Seek Professional Help
I cannot stress this enough–Web M.D., google search, and Grandma Beatty probably aren’t the best ways to pursue a medical diagnosis. Receiving a proper diagnosis and treatment plan are crucial to your healing and coping. The best places to start: Your primary doctor, a professional counselor/therapist, your church minister (who most likely has local resources). For me personally, I was able to utilize the Employee Assistance Program through my job, and locate a nearby faith-based therapist who specialized in the very symptoms I was experiencing. Through that program, I received 5 free therapy sessions, that led me into a long-term therapy program for my O.C.D. Needless to say, these last 3 months of therapy have been more helpful and life changing than the decades I spent without proper help.

4-Don’t Withhold Information
Let’s face it, the absolute hardest part of pursuing a diagnosis of your symptoms, is openly sharing with someone about what you are going through. For example, it wasn’t until I was 30 years old, that I finally told someone about the obsessive, intrusive, disturbing images/thoughts/fears that re-played over and over in my head for decades. It took me that long to feel safe enough, and comfortable enough, and self aware enough, about my symptoms to open up. And guess what? The moment I disclosed any and every symptom I was experiencing, I received the help I desperately needed, while also learning that thousands of other individuals suffered with the same disorder and symptoms. It was like a flood gate of resources, support, education, and help just rushed into my life. If you feel like you need help with something you are struggling with internally, you will only do yourself more harm by withholding information, even information that feels impossible to share openly (like having obsessive thoughts or behaviors that are disturbing, morbid, irrational, or embarrassing).

5-The Actual Diagnosis of O.C.D.
Although a PET scan could possibly reveal misfiring, or over firing of chemicals in your brain related to O.C.D., most doctors or therapists will not use this tool as a diagnostic measure. Most therapists will determine a person has O.C.D. by observing the following symptoms: a person has obsessive thoughts, and/or compulsive behaviors, that interfere with a normal, productive way of life. For example, most who suffer from O.C.D. experience obsessive, intrusive thoughts that lead to compulsions regarding 1 (or more) of 4 categories: (1) Contamination, (2) Fears/doubts/impending doom about harming self or others or that something terrible will happen, (3) Perfectionism like counting/asymmetry/arranging, etc, and (4) Abnormal or undesired intrusive images/thoughts and mental rituals. Those who suffer from O.C.D. do not find pleasure in these obsessions or compulsions, but are rather trapped inside of an exhaustive cycle that they so desperately wish to be set free from. A professional therapist will know these symptoms and markers of O.C.D. , and be able to properly identify such thoughts or behaviors as being results of O.C.D.

My hope is that this post guides at least one individual in the right direction, who currently feels alone in the dark about what step to take next. My hope is that no individual feels alone, but recognizes thousands upon thousands of individuals struggle with symptoms of O.C.D. It doesn’t have to be so scary, embarrassing, and lonely. Try implementing my steps above, and just see how your life begins to change. You can do this. There is hope. You matter. Don’t give up.

What is O.C.D. ?

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. Ok, well, duh! Everyone knows that already. But what is it, really?

Have you ever tried to pedal your bicycle down a steep hill? Here is what happens: at the top of the hill, you begin applying force to the pedals, rotating faster and faster towards the hill. Once you begin pedaling down the hill, the pedals began to rotate so rapidly that your feet can’t keep up with the pace. You’re forced to hold your feet away from the pedals, allowing them to spin frantically on their own. Once you reach the bottom of the hill, and began leveling out, the speed eventually reduces, allowing your feet to safely take control of the pedals again.

That, my friends, is what O.C.D. is like, only add in a glitch in the gear shifting ability of the bike, preventing the part where the rotations slow down.

This mental disorder affects a few areas of the brain ( the orbital cortex, putamen, caudate nucleus, cingulate gyrus, striatum, etc) that all essentially work together much like a pedal, gear shift, and wheel of a bicycle. In essence, when force is applied to the pedal of your brain, aka an intrusive thought, irrational fear, uncomfortable experience, or trigger conversation, a glitch in the gear shifting ability of the brain causes a rapid and vicious over firing/misfiring of chemicals that get trapped in a dangerous repetitious cycle.

The caudate nucleus in the front half of the brain—responsible for transmitting thoughts throughout the brain—fails to transmit thoughts, holding them hostage in a repetitive misfire. In return, the putamen area of the brain, which is in charge of the brain signaling the body to carry out various movements, begins to over fire as well, which leads to compulsive behaviors. The result? The wheel (thoughts, compulsive behaviors, repetitive motions, irrational fears/images, etc) becomes locked in a viscous motion, spinning out of control.

UCLA once did a study on an O.C.D. affected brain compared to a non O.C.D. affected brain, by way of a PET scan, which displays imaging of energy in the brain. As expected, the O.C.D. affected brain lit up like a Christmas tree, where as the non O.C.D. brain presented with a balanced emission of energy. It wasn’t until nearly 10 weeks of behavioral and cognitive therapy, and at times medication therapy, that this over firing in the glitched, O.C.D. affected brain, began to balance out to more closely replicate the non O.C.D. affected brain.

The same group of doctors who ran this study, also discuss in their book “Brain Lock”, that the striatum area of the brain that is responsible for the shaking that accompanies Parkinson’s disease, is also largely responsible for the compulsive behaviors associated with O.C.D.

This information blew my mind. I mean, who would tell someone with Parkinson’s disease that they are faking their shake? Who would tell someone with Parkinson’s disease, “Just stop shaking! Just stop and be still!”. No one. Yet so often that’s how those of us with O.C.D. are treated. “Just stop thinking about it”, “Just stop scrubbing everything”, “Just get over it and move on”, etc. Get my point?

I cannot tell you how learning this information has helped me personally deal with my O.C.D.. My brain has a glitch. The chemicals and signals in my brain do not appropriately fire or transmit. Because of this information, I now can call out my O.C.D., recognizing what thoughts and actions are my O.C.D., versus what thoughts and actions are my true character and person. And this, is the best freedom I’ve ever been given! Which is why I want to pass this information on to as many as possible.

Over the next 12 months, we will learn together, how to safely approach the glitched pedals, gears, and wheels of the brain that are malfunctioning.

I know some of you must be thinking, “But Jen, I don’t have O.C.D., this doesn’t relate to me.” Ok. But what if you become best friends with someone who does? Or birth a child who is misdiagnosed for years, and actually has O.C.D. ? Or marry the love of your life who has O.C.D.? See where I am going? This information is important for all to understand, because chances are, we will all be affected by O.C.D. in some way.

I hope you will stay on this journey with me through out 2020. The posts will become less scientific over the next 2 months, and more personal, filled with practical advice and personal stories of my own. My hope is that you’ll follow along and grow your own understanding of this disorder, while also sharing this resource to any who might also be affected by this mental disorder.

Let’s walk on this journey towards mental peace together, because together we can help others feel safe, loved, and capable.

*This blog makes reference to theories and studies discussed in the book, “Brain Lock” written by Jeffrey M. Schwartz, M.D. and Beverly Beyette. I have attached a link to purchase this book from amazon, below.

With New Year’s Eve quickly approaching, many of us will begin experiencing a sudden burst of goal making energy over the next several weeks.

Not wanting to be left out of this inspirational time of year, I too have tapped into this energy and managed to map out a tentative blog post schedule for 2020. I look forward to spending next year learning together about this very underrated mental disorder.

Check out my home page which will keep you posted on what date my next post will be. Make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss out on any of these helpful blogs. And most importantly, if you think this blog can help someone in your life who might be exposed to O.C.D., please share!

Have a wonderful Christmas and a Happy New Year. I can’t wait to begin this year long journey with you.

Tentative Topic Schedule (Subject to change)
January- Defining O.C.D. & Diagnosing O.C.D.
*A scientific, and personal, look into how O.C.D. affects the brain, as
well as how to properly determine if you have the disorder or not.
February- Effects of O.C.D. & Treating O.C.D.
*A personal look into how O.C.D. affects all areas of life,
as well as healthy treatment options and resources for this disorder.
March– Delaying O.C.D.
*Learning to harness the O.C.D. brain towards healthy outlets and
coping mechanisms.
April– Irrational O.C.D. & Exposing O.C.D.
*A discussion on the irrational foundation of O.C.D., and learning how
to gradually expose oneself to reality within that irrational mindset.
May-Labeling O.C.D. & Communicating O.C.D.
*Learning how to label your O.C.D. and share about your disorder with
others.
June- Culture and O.C.D. & Fighting the Norm
*Learning how our culture’s unhealthy habits can negatively impact or
worsen ones experience with O.C.D., while learning to fight the norm
and safe guard the mind with boundaries and awareness.
July- Finances and O.C.D.
*Learning how to protect your bank account despite having an
obsessive and compulsive mental disorder, while discovering helpful
resources.
August- Social Expectations & Balancing O.C.D.
*A discussion about social settings such as work, sports, school, human
interaction, which can be overwhelming when dealing with O.C.D.,
while also learning how to give O.C.D. its time and place.
September- Dating and O.C.D. (Part 1) & Dating and O.C.D. (Part 2)
*Learning how to healthily approach dating while also learning how to
approach dating someone who has O.C.D.
October- Friendship and O.C.D. Part 1 & Part 2
*Learning how to be a healthy friend while living with O.C.D., verses
learning how to be a supportive friend to someone with O.C.D.
November- Family and O.C.D.
*Learning how the family line can impact O.C.D. as well as how to
break free from what is in your power to change for yourself.
December- Religion and O.C.D. & Final Words of Encouragement
*Diving deep into how ones religious environment can either make or
break the ability to healthily cope with O.C.D. , while summing up the
year with final words and scriptures of encouragement.

I was born in a small, southern, country town in North Texas. This environment didn’t exactly foster cultural variety. In fact, from my Kindergarten class, to Senior year, I can recall only 2 students of a different ethnic back ground than my friends and I. The closest experiences I had to another culture was my Spanish class in high school, and eating at Panchos with my family.

So, when the opportunity to travel to Guatemala arose through my church home, I knew I had to go! I wanted to experience a different culture, a different way of life. And of course, I wanted to test my Spanish Skills that I had learned in school. I was so determined to go on this trip, that I worked extra jobs, and wrote loads of letters, to fund the trip.

The trip was all I had imagined, and more! The cultural differences captivated me. The food, the colors, the houses, the atmosphere. Everything was so different. Especially, the plumbing.

My roommate on the trip and I had managed to stop up our hotel commode just a few days into the trip. Refusing to share this information with the rest of our team, we decided to combine our Spanish skills and call the front desk to request a plunger for our toilet. So, I picked up the phone, and so confidently said, “Necesito un…plunger…para la baño, por favor”. The hotel staff member on the other end replied simply with, “Si!”, and hung up.

We did it! Our first true sentence in Spanish in a time of need, and they understood us! Or so we thought…

About 10 minutes later, we heard a knock on the door. We opened to find a staff member with a big smile on her face, proudly holding an iron in her hands. My roommate and I looked at the iron, then at each other, then at the iron. Where did we go wrong!? Our Spanish was so clear! So, we tried again, this time in person. “No. Necesito un PLUNGER para la baño, por favor!”, while making a motion with our hands. The sweet little lady smiled, nodded her head, and rushed off to find a plunger. Or so we thought…

A Few moments later, we opened our door to the same knock, to find the same sweet little staff member, with the same sweet smile on her face, holding…a vacuum! At this point we were laughing so hysterically we could not control ourselves. As tears streamed down our faces from laughter and embarressment, we led the sweet little lady into our bathroom, and pointed to the horrendous sight! She gasped and quickly exited the room.

Moments later she returned with a plunger, and to our surprise, insisted on unclogging our toilet.

Trying to explain the need for a plunger in a foreign, unfamiliar language, feels very similar to trying to explain what living with true O.C.D. is like to others. I can perfectly simplify, or complicate, the description of what happens inside of me with O.C.D. , only to still find the other person oblivious to what I am experiencing.

Much like my broken Spanish, I know part of the communication challenge when explaining O.C.D. falls on my own inability to accurately express how the disorder affects my brain and my life. The other person can nod their head, empathize with the experiences shared, but it’s still so obvious that there is a major gap between what O.C.D. is truly like, and their understanding of it or ability to render help. This is because O.C.D. is like a foreign country to those who do not live with the disorder.

Part of what inspired this blog, is a deep desire and passion for helping others understand O.C.D. better. I believe that, like the sweet little lady at the hotel, our friends and family truly want to understand what we are going through internally. They may offer help, even if it’s not quite what we need in the moment. And chances are, just like the sweet little lady, they will continue to show up and try until they are able to address our needs properly and with better understanding.

I hope you’ll invite as many people as possible, to join in on this conversation as we enter 2020. I will very soon reveal some of the O.C.D. “hot topics” I plan to dive into in the new year, and look forward to raising awareness one post at a time, about this mental disorder that is so often misunderstood or overlooked.

All we really need, is a little better communication, persistent effort to understand, and… a plunger!

Wishing you all a happy Thanksgiving.

When anyone asks me about my competitive, independent spirit, I reply with three words, “Three older brothers”. This fact about my childhood explains a lot. As if being the only daughter wasn’t challenging enough, I was the youngest on top of that! Sheesh.

Despite my constant effort to out do the boys, deep down I wanted to be just like my big brothers: wild, tough, and….shirtless. Wait, what?

Let me explain.

Before my parents gave me “the talk”-you know, the difference between boys and girls-I would become so jealous that boys got to run and play outside without their shirts on. It looked SO adventurous, so tough, so….free. But the only explanation my mother would give me when asked if I too could run outside without my shirt on was, “You’re a girl! Girls can’t go outside without a shirt!”

So naturally, in my attempts to be wild, free, and shirtless like the boys, I decided one day to walk right out into the back yard with ..you got it..no shirt on! I remember it so clearly. The sun was beaming down (on my bare chest). The birds were chirping, their sounds echoing (off my bare chest). I remember putting my hands on my hips, feeling so adventurous, so…free. And then, it happened!

The biggest, fastest, most aggressive bumble bee you’ve ever seen flew right on me and began stinging me. I screamed so loud, frozen in complete fear and pain. My mom flew open the back door and ran out to me, immediately yelling “JENNIFER! WHY DON’T YOU HAVE A SHIRT ON?” Of course as she realized what was happening, she flew into mommy mode and rescued me from the bee. I still received “the talk”, or at least a watered down version of it, afterwards.

O.C.D. feels kind of like that sometimes. We want so badly to just have the mental freedom that others have in certain situations or regarding certain topics. We run into these situations or conversations full of confidence, and sometimes even ignorance, only to be reminded that something in our way of thinking is a little bit different from everyone else. We try so hard to ignore that difference. We try so hard to blend in with the rest of the crowd, subsiding all of the obvious signs that we are different. But just when we think we’ve fooled our surroundings, we get stung by all of the repetitive, intrusive, sometimes disturbing, thoughts or compulsive routines thrown at us by O.C.D.

The solution isn’t to avoid “going outside” again. Heck! The solution isn’t even to avoid being adventurous, wild, and free. The solution is , however, accepting our differences, and learning how to properly dress our minds with tools that can better protect and prepare our mind from that potential sting.

You better believe I never went outside shirtless again! The more I learn about how our minds work with O.C.D., the more convicted I am that we should never leave our minds vulnerable to the sting of O.C.D. We need to embrace that our brain works a bit differently than other brains, taking the time to learn about those differences, and how to better equip ourselves.

My hope is that we are never restricted by our “disorder”, but rather we live in complete freedom of peace despite our disorder. That peace, I am convinced, can only be possible through open and honest conversation, compassion, and community. That peace, I believe, can only be possible by learning about our disorder, and helping those in our community learn about it as well.

“It’s like you have two brains-a rational brain and an irrational brain . And they’re constantly fighting”
-Emilie Ford

I meet too many people who hear the term “O.C.D.” and instantly imagine a person like Adrian Monk from the hit show “Monk” that aired in the early 2000s. If you have never watched an episode, the show’s plot revolved around an expert detective with severe O.C.D. The show projected his character’s struggle with O.C.D. through a pretty extreme, overly dramatic, and slightly comical lens. I say “slightly comical” because living with O.C.D. is most often the opposite of comical. However, his character attempted to present the mental disorder in a humorous way.

Though I am sure there are individuals in the world who live with a Monk-like, over the top, expression of O.C.D., most of us would laugh and say “Um, no.” if compared to Adrian Monk. Unlike Monk, most of us with O.C.D. probably blend in fairly well in social settings, possibly even going undetected as being someone who lives with a ‘mental disorder’.

Our most noticeable years are typically in earlier childhood, which is why we are rarely diagnosed with O.C.D. because most toddlers and children are quirky, stubborn, and picky by nature. Here are just a few ‘external’ signs of a child who could have O.C.D. (from my personal childhood experience):

The child might:
-Becomes physically sick or emotionally upset if forced to eat that funky textured food
-Changes their clothes 1,000 times a day, over analyzing how the clothes fit, feel, and match
-Starts completely over on a task if one mistake is made (i.e. writing assignment or drawing)
-Counts steps, drinks, number of chews, etc
-Cries for a prolonged time or avoids sleep for nights after a scary movie, or disturbing experience
-Insists on a certain routine, showing high anxiety or emotional outbursts if the routine is challenged
-Demonstrates emotional outbursts or high anxiety when experiencing something for the first time without knowing what to expect
– Becomes a little too emotional during seasons of life change
-Refuses to use the restroom in public because restroom noises and bodily functions are awkward
-Expresses an unusual fear/discomfort of the body, topic of sex, or body fluids
-Is overly sensitive to sounds, stimuli, or textures
-Is a poor test taker or reader, due to the inability to drown out surrounding noises long enough to focus on the task at hand.

You get the picture….The external expressions of O.C.D. that are more noticeable are so often experienced as a child. But kids in general are usually pretty stubborn, quirky, and picky, so many parents and teachers chalk up these traits as simply, “kids will be kids”.

As this child grows and learns to adapt in social settings, these external routines, repetitive habits, or nervous compulsions will begin to die down, becoming less noticeable. Instead, they are often replaced, with internalized repetitive and obsessive thoughts that can leave the mind completely exhausted. Living through out day to day life begins to feel like a mental marathon as the person tries to avoid external expressions of O.C.D. which are no longer socially “normal”, and now wrestles with the internalized mental war taking place. As quoted above, each moment awake feels like a battle between two brains-the rational brain, and the irrational brain.

Most of us with O.C.D. have faulty neurotransmitters that over fire certain chemicals in the brain, prohibiting us from turning off certain thoughts, images, etc. We become trapped inside our own brain. To cope with these intrusive, irrational fears, or obsessive thoughts and images, most of us try to keep the brain as distracted and active as possible. During the day time we are probably that overly competitive, invested, loyal, creative, hard working, driven, passionate, freaking awesome (okay, sorry, getting carried away!) person that you admire most!

Don’t be jealous though. Because you can almost guarantee that the moment we are alone, or at rest from activities that stimulate the brain, we begin the “battle of the brains” as discussed earlier. With nothing else to distract us, all of those repetitive, obsessive, and intrusive/disturbing thoughts and images take over, leading us down a path of irrational thoughts, fears, and emotions. Night time and alone time, can be the most terrifying and isolating times for a person living with O.C.D. Sometimes, we can even fake it ’til we make it in social settings, if needed…even though internally we want to scream, or run away and hide!

If you’re a person who struggles with O.C.D. , you are probably reading this post while nodding your head in agreement, or saying “Yup! That was/is totally me!” If you’re reading this post and you don’t have O.C.D. , you are probably thinking “Well great! I’m never laughing at an episode of Monk again!”. (Please do! I’ve watched almost every episode and it gets me pretty tickled at times. That’s not the point of this post).

My purpose of this first post, is to begin the conversation of what O.C.D. is and what it is not. I truly believe that we can foster a world that better understands how to recognize mental disorders, cope with mental disorders, and more affectively love on people who suffer from mental disorders like O.C.D.

I hope you’ll go on this journey with me! Let’s work together to make this world healthier, kinder, and more compassionate.