Delaying O.C.D.

With Spring break just around the corner, I know there is one word we are all hoping to avoid as we enter vacation mode..

And that word is, “Delayed”.

There are few things more frustrating than trying to get to your vacation destination, only to have the airline announce a delay of your flight, or your GPS to notify you of a delay up ahead. We’ve all been there before.

Possibly the worst “Delayed” experience of my life, was when my dad and I were taking a trip to the Caribbean Islands together (picture from the trip above!). Not only did we experience multiple delays at the airport, arriving to our destination half a day later than expected at midnight, but the airline ran out of food on our flight, leaving us starving and without food for the night. Ugh, the worst!

I would imagine you have a few “delayed” stories yourself. And though we may all be able to laugh at them now, I bet not much laughing occurred at the time of the delays. When I think about travel delays, I think about having no control over a situation that leaves you somewhat stranded.

But when learning to live with O.C.D. , or any obsessive thoughts/actions for that matter, the process of delaying is actually one that puts us in a position of control. The delay is in our hands, and the obsession is the one inconvenienced.

I want to share with you two delaying methods I learned through O.C.D. cognitive therapy, that help me take control of my mind instead of the other way around.

The ABCs
Like most of our inner struggles that we face, night time is typically the most challenging time for many of us. Falling asleep peacefully can feel impossible when you’re tossing and turning, replaying struggles, heart aches, fears, or insecurities over and over in your mind. This is particularly true for those of us with O.C.D., who especially struggle with turning off repetitious, obsessive thoughts or routines. So, this exercise can actually benefit anyone who struggles with falling asleep at night, not just those of us with O.C.D.

I’ve named it The ABC delaying method. I learned it during my therapy and it has been a life saver for so many nights. Here is how it works.

I choose to delay those disturbing, obsessive thoughts and images, by refocusing that brain energy into a distraction that will produce positive and peaceful thoughts and images. I start with the letter A, moving through to letter Z, and for each letter of the alphabet I choose an adjective about God. I then pray a prayer of praise or gratitude over that descriptive word.

For example, I would say or think, “A is for aware. God is aware of my struggles.”, followed by a prayer thanking God for his awareness. Then I would move to the letter B, “B is for brave. God makes me brave enough to face these struggles.”, followed by a prayer thanking God for making me brave. You get the point.

If you aren’t a believer in God, and not into prayer, I would suggest choosing a dear friend or family member and instead of saying or thinking a prayer, substitute that step with verbalizing a time when that person has demonstrated that characteristic. For example, “C is for compassionate. Last night when I was really struggling, and I reached out to _, they showed me such compassion when they listened to me”.

This delaying method works so well for me that I am usually asleep by the time I get to the letter G.

The Triggered List
The ABCs works great for falling asleep at night, but I use a different delaying method when my O.C.D. strikes during the daytime. I call it my “Triggered List”. Let me explain.

When my O.C.D. therapist was explaining the importance of training my brain to delay O.C.D. , she had me make a list of things that I enjoy and that distract me even for a moment. She told me that the next time those obsessive, disturbing, and at times debilitating images, thoughts, compulsions, or fears began to intrude my mind and body, to start from the top of my triggered list, and work my way down.

Here is an example of my triggered list:
-Watching a disney movie: Frozen, Tangled, Moana, Toy Story, Beauty and the Beast.
-Listening to music: Audrey Assad, Rend Collective, The Beach Boys, Hillsong, Indie Folk Playlist
-Working Out
-Cooking: Meal prep, make a meal for someone and deliver it to them, try a new recipe.
-Writing: Write a blog, write a card for someone, write in my journal, make a list, write a poem.
-Praying: Pray for specific topics in my life, ask a friend how I can pray for them and send them the prayer.
-Reading: Read my bible, read material for my weekly bible studies, read my O.C.D. book, read blog posts.
-Podcasts: Listen to a sermon.

You get the idea.

One of two things usually happens during this delaying method: I either become so distracted and focused on these steps that i forget what I was obsessing over, or, whatever I was obsessing over slowly begins to fade until it is no longer so scary or debilitating, and much easier to cope with.

If you are reading this blog, and have made it this far, please hear me out when I say these two delaying methods have literally helped me get through nights and triggered moments that I didn’t think I had the ability to get through. It takes emense courage, self control, determination, and strength to apply delaying methods in the middle of enduring debilitating, irrational, or overwhelming obsessions, fears, insecurities, temptations, compulsions, or disturbing/unwanted images and thoughts. But when we train our brain to immediately go into delay mode, we begin to take control over our brain and rewire it to rechannel that energy into what is constructive instead of destructive.

I hope you’ll stay tuned for Part 2 of this month’s helpful method tipsjs, “Containing O.C.D.”. Even if you don’t have O.C.D., I hope you find this information helpful in trying to deal with every day consuming thoughts and struggles. If you do find it helpful, please subscribe for more monthly posts, and share this blog with someone else you think might benefit.

The sooner we bring our struggles, fears, and insecurities into the light, learning how to productively communicate about them, we will begin to heal from the inside out as a community. Let’s make this world a safer, healthier, more compassionate place to be, starting with being that for eachother.