After only one measly week of nursing school, my phone would light up with pictures from friends of wounds, rashes, bruises, and other conditions, asking for my “diagnosis” and treatment recommendation. “Do I need to go to the E.R. ?” “Do I need stitches?” “Is this a spider bite?” “Should I take medicine, and what kind?”. The list goes on.
I remember reaching a point about one month in, where I finally began googling random, obnoxiously long medical terms, and responding with “Oh no! You have ‘xyz’! That can be fatal!” I know, I know…so terrible of me. But I did get a few laughs out of it, especially when the other person totally bought into my prank. (Before you consider me the worst human ever, note that I immediately told the person I was kidding, and that they should see a doctor!).
When it comes to achieving a proper diagnosis, especially involving a mental disorder, it’s important to understand that there are safe ways, and less safe ways, to pursue a diagnosis. I mean, think about if one of those poor victims of my prank would have begun treating themselves according to whatever false diagnosis I provided them with? Catastrophic!
Take me for example. I was told through out school that I simply had a “learning disorder”, or that I was a “perfectionist”, or “too picky”, or “just depressed”, or “too anxious”. I was placed on medication for anxiety and depression that actually worsened my O.C.D. symptoms to the point of almost taking my own life to escape what felt like torture. It wasn’t until my 20s that I was told “That sounds like O.C.D.”, and not until my 30s that I was properly diagnosed and treated for this disorder in an effective, safe, and healthy way.
Had I known what I know now, I would not have lived so many years without a proper diagnosis or treatment plan. Which is exactly why today’s post is so important for me to share with you. So, I hope you’ll take my advise to heart, knowing it comes from many years of wishing someone would have told me these things!
1-Pray
I realize that not everyone is religious, or a believer in God. So this step may seem silly to you. However, for me, it has proven to be the most effective tool in pursuing clarity on what happens inside of my mind, and during certain compulsions. Before I sought out professional help in 2019, I dropped to my knees and begged God to guide me to the people who could not only properly help me, but also who I would feel safe with. Not only did God answer that prayer, but He did so better than I could have ever imagined. All I had to do was ask in faith, and God quickly proved to be very present and very invested in the process. After all, if we don’t ask, is it really fair to expect Him to deliver? Matthew 7:7
2-Know What is “Normal”
I use the term “normal” very hesitantly, because I don’t want to imply that having O.C.D. makes a person “not normal”. What I actually mean, is that we were not created to live in a mental, emotional, or physical state that leads to self destruction or destruction of those around us. If you are experiencing thoughts or behaviors that are interfering with your ability to eat, sleep, socialize, cope, function healthily, successfully go through school, work, etc, you need help. Please know that it is ok to acknowledge you need help.
3-Seek Professional Help
I cannot stress this enough–Web M.D., google search, and Grandma Beatty probably aren’t the best ways to pursue a medical diagnosis. Receiving a proper diagnosis and treatment plan are crucial to your healing and coping. The best places to start: Your primary doctor, a professional counselor/therapist, your church minister (who most likely has local resources). For me personally, I was able to utilize the Employee Assistance Program through my job, and locate a nearby faith-based therapist who specialized in the very symptoms I was experiencing. Through that program, I received 5 free therapy sessions, that led me into a long-term therapy program for my O.C.D. Needless to say, these last 3 months of therapy have been more helpful and life changing than the decades I spent without proper help.
4-Don’t Withhold Information
Let’s face it, the absolute hardest part of pursuing a diagnosis of your symptoms, is openly sharing with someone about what you are going through. For example, it wasn’t until I was 30 years old, that I finally told someone about the obsessive, intrusive, disturbing images/thoughts/fears that re-played over and over in my head for decades. It took me that long to feel safe enough, and comfortable enough, and self aware enough, about my symptoms to open up. And guess what? The moment I disclosed any and every symptom I was experiencing, I received the help I desperately needed, while also learning that thousands of other individuals suffered with the same disorder and symptoms. It was like a flood gate of resources, support, education, and help just rushed into my life. If you feel like you need help with something you are struggling with internally, you will only do yourself more harm by withholding information, even information that feels impossible to share openly (like having obsessive thoughts or behaviors that are disturbing, morbid, irrational, or embarrassing).
5-The Actual Diagnosis of O.C.D.
Although a PET scan could possibly reveal misfiring, or over firing of chemicals in your brain related to O.C.D., most doctors or therapists will not use this tool as a diagnostic measure. Most therapists will determine a person has O.C.D. by observing the following symptoms: a person has obsessive thoughts, and/or compulsive behaviors, that interfere with a normal, productive way of life. For example, most who suffer from O.C.D. experience obsessive, intrusive thoughts that lead to compulsions regarding 1 (or more) of 4 categories: (1) Contamination, (2) Fears/doubts/impending doom about harming self or others or that something terrible will happen, (3) Perfectionism like counting/asymmetry/arranging, etc, and (4) Abnormal or undesired intrusive images/thoughts and mental rituals. Those who suffer from O.C.D. do not find pleasure in these obsessions or compulsions, but are rather trapped inside of an exhaustive cycle that they so desperately wish to be set free from. A professional therapist will know these symptoms and markers of O.C.D. , and be able to properly identify such thoughts or behaviors as being results of O.C.D.
My hope is that this post guides at least one individual in the right direction, who currently feels alone in the dark about what step to take next. My hope is that no individual feels alone, but recognizes thousands upon thousands of individuals struggle with symptoms of O.C.D. It doesn’t have to be so scary, embarrassing, and lonely. Try implementing my steps above, and just see how your life begins to change. You can do this. There is hope. You matter. Don’t give up.
Obsessive. Compulsive. Disordered. 