“It’s like you have two brains-a rational brain and an irrational brain . And they’re constantly fighting”
-Emilie Ford
I meet too many people who hear the term “O.C.D.” and instantly imagine a person like Adrian Monk from the hit show “Monk” that aired in the early 2000s. If you have never watched an episode, the show’s plot revolved around an expert detective with severe O.C.D. The show projected his character’s struggle with O.C.D. through a pretty extreme, overly dramatic, and slightly comical lens. I say “slightly comical” because living with O.C.D. is most often the opposite of comical. However, his character attempted to present the mental disorder in a humorous way.
Though I am sure there are individuals in the world who live with a Monk-like, over the top, expression of O.C.D., most of us would laugh and say “Um, no.” if compared to Adrian Monk. Unlike Monk, most of us with O.C.D. probably blend in fairly well in social settings, possibly even going undetected as being someone who lives with a ‘mental disorder’.
Our most noticeable years are typically in earlier childhood, which is why we are rarely diagnosed with O.C.D. because most toddlers and children are quirky, stubborn, and picky by nature. Here are just a few ‘external’ signs of a child who could have O.C.D. (from my personal childhood experience):
The child might:
-Becomes physically sick or emotionally upset if forced to eat that funky textured food
-Changes their clothes 1,000 times a day, over analyzing how the clothes fit, feel, and match
-Starts completely over on a task if one mistake is made (i.e. writing assignment or drawing)
-Counts steps, drinks, number of chews, etc
-Cries for a prolonged time or avoids sleep for nights after a scary movie, or disturbing experience
-Insists on a certain routine, showing high anxiety or emotional outbursts if the routine is challenged
-Demonstrates emotional outbursts or high anxiety when experiencing something for the first time without knowing what to expect
– Becomes a little too emotional during seasons of life change
-Refuses to use the restroom in public because restroom noises and bodily functions are awkward
-Expresses an unusual fear/discomfort of the body, topic of sex, or body fluids
-Is overly sensitive to sounds, stimuli, or textures
-Is a poor test taker or reader, due to the inability to drown out surrounding noises long enough to focus on the task at hand.
You get the picture….The external expressions of O.C.D. that are more noticeable are so often experienced as a child. But kids in general are usually pretty stubborn, quirky, and picky, so many parents and teachers chalk up these traits as simply, “kids will be kids”.
As this child grows and learns to adapt in social settings, these external routines, repetitive habits, or nervous compulsions will begin to die down, becoming less noticeable. Instead, they are often replaced, with internalized repetitive and obsessive thoughts that can leave the mind completely exhausted. Living through out day to day life begins to feel like a mental marathon as the person tries to avoid external expressions of O.C.D. which are no longer socially “normal”, and now wrestles with the internalized mental war taking place. As quoted above, each moment awake feels like a battle between two brains-the rational brain, and the irrational brain.
Most of us with O.C.D. have faulty neurotransmitters that over fire certain chemicals in the brain, prohibiting us from turning off certain thoughts, images, etc. We become trapped inside our own brain. To cope with these intrusive, irrational fears, or obsessive thoughts and images, most of us try to keep the brain as distracted and active as possible. During the day time we are probably that overly competitive, invested, loyal, creative, hard working, driven, passionate, freaking awesome (okay, sorry, getting carried away!) person that you admire most!
Don’t be jealous though. Because you can almost guarantee that the moment we are alone, or at rest from activities that stimulate the brain, we begin the “battle of the brains” as discussed earlier. With nothing else to distract us, all of those repetitive, obsessive, and intrusive/disturbing thoughts and images take over, leading us down a path of irrational thoughts, fears, and emotions. Night time and alone time, can be the most terrifying and isolating times for a person living with O.C.D. Sometimes, we can even fake it ’til we make it in social settings, if needed…even though internally we want to scream, or run away and hide!
If you’re a person who struggles with O.C.D. , you are probably reading this post while nodding your head in agreement, or saying “Yup! That was/is totally me!” If you’re reading this post and you don’t have O.C.D. , you are probably thinking “Well great! I’m never laughing at an episode of Monk again!”. (Please do! I’ve watched almost every episode and it gets me pretty tickled at times. That’s not the point of this post).
My purpose of this first post, is to begin the conversation of what O.C.D. is and what it is not. I truly believe that we can foster a world that better understands how to recognize mental disorders, cope with mental disorders, and more affectively love on people who suffer from mental disorders like O.C.D.
I hope you’ll go on this journey with me! Let’s work together to make this world healthier, kinder, and more compassionate.
Obsessive. Compulsive. Disordered. 